Friday, April 13, 2012

One finger at me, three back at you!

Ive been feeling really down lately. Which apparently is normal according to most people. Ive taken some steps to hopefully change my life for the better and people tell me its normal to feel the way I am... But its not normal to me! And I really don't like it, its not me at all! The more I think about things, the more comfortable I am with my decision. I have direction and focus and a new found sense of self worth. But that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. I just don't understand how someone can just throw something away so easily! And I cant shake this icky feeling! It litterally makes me sick to my stomach. I take full responsibility for my actions but what you were/are doing was worse.
I like to think that I am a very accepting person. No matter who you are or where you came from. I can get along with anyone. I try my hardest not to judge anyone, because honestly what right do I have? I am definitely not perfect, Ive got some demons and I dont pretend to be better then anyone. But it irks me when people who are no better then me think that they can make snap judgements. I've always been the kind of person that would rather have you say something to my to my face and we resolve it that way. I may not like what you have to say but I'll respect you more and take whats being said to heart. This sneaking around talking crap behind my back isnt cool. And did you honestly think that it wouldnt get back to me!?! Even when being confronted about what was said you didnt have the back bone to talk to me! Ha! Its really pathetic. But before you point those fingers at me stop for a second and take a look at your own life. Because yet again you are no better then me. I have reasons for doing what I do. And why do I matter so much to you anyway? Why am I playing such a big role in your life? Are you so completely bored with your own life that you need to create unnecessary drama in other peoples lives to fullfill some sick pleasure?
Any way like I said I have focus and am hell bent on making something of myself and not let petty ignorant people keep me down anymore. And that is the best revenge. In 10 years I'll be living the great life that I plan on having while you are stuck right where you are now. Its a sad thought but it does give me comfort. And no matter how much you try to put me down or try to make me think Im nothing without you, or even try to make it seem that YOU are better off without ME, it wont work. Even though Im down right now, Im still happier then I was being with you. I honestly wish the best for you. But I also wish that you will feel the regret hardcore! And that people will tell you how stupid you are for letting me go.  The end