Tuesday, December 31, 2013

In a nutshell

I made a promise to myself 1 year ago today, that I would make 2013 a year to remember. I took numerous zoo trips, went to 7 countries jumped out of a plane, had many shinanigans and even fell in love! I am very blessed and I know it. Thanks to all those who helped make this year memorable 

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Day Of Thanks

On this day of thanks, I chose to reflect on all that I have to be thankful for. I am thankful for a job I love and my wonderful work family. I am thankful for a boss that has put up with my shenanigans and has always made me feel like family. I am thankful to be getting an education. Even though I get so frustrated and want to quit, I know there are lots of people who wont get the opportunity and it'll be beneficial in the end. I'm thankful for the roof over my head, the clothes on my back and the food in my stomach. I think we all take that stuff for granted sometimes.
I am thankful for books, sports and all the things that keep me entertained. I am especially thankful for the love and support from my amazing family!  For the wonderful examples that they have been for me and the lessons they've taught me. And for loving me in spite of all my flaws and shenanigans.
And finally, I am thankful for all the trials and tests of life. Without them I would not be who I am.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Regret is not a word in my vocabulary

I try not to live my life with regrets. Instead I like to think of mistakes as lessons. Ones that I can learn and grow from. We are given trials to test our strength. I've been incredibly lucky to have such strong role models in my life. I've been blessed with an amazing supportive family, something not a lot of people can say they have. In times of weakness I can draw on their strength and know that all is not lost and that they will stick by me no matter what.
I have no regrets in any area of my life. I build my strength through all those crappy situations I've had.
I have absolutely no regrets in ways of family. I have such precious memories that, yet again, not many can say they have. And I wouldn't trade them for the world.
I don't regret anything in the way of work. My strong role models have taught me by example to have a good work ethic. And I try everyday to live up to their standards. (Never will but I still try)
I try everyday to be better than I was the day before. To make my life better and make my family proud.
I live with no regrets. I am who I am today because of that. I am so thankful to those in my life. Whether it was positive or negative, you influenced me and inspired me to be better. I love you all

Friday, November 2, 2012

Hide The Sharp Objects

I am so damn tired of people and their attitudes! It's really hard trying to stay positive when you're constantly surrounded by people who bitch over the dumbest things. If your life sucks so bad DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Complaining 24/7 isn't going to help! Venting I understand. Everyone needs to vent and get things off their chest. But it becomes a problem when you do nothing to remedy the situation. I understand that you hate your spouse or that you feel you don't get paid enough or that you try really hard to get knocked up by some douche bag but its not going well! SHUT THE HELL UP! And for all the "men" out there, if you can feel comfortable watching a 100 pound girl do things that you are supposed to, then I think you need to surrender the title of man. You clearly are not! It's ridiculous.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

When will the past just die and go away!?! I'm tired of being plagued by the mistakes of the past. Hello Im trying to move on with life! Why is that so impossible? Every time I think that Im in the clear, ready to breath again, all the ish that I've dealt with come flooding back.  Instant rage blinds me and I'm thrown around by a tornado of emotion. Hatred, fear, embarrassment, regret, self loathing and so on. To err is human right? There is a lot that I wish I could take back, but I can't. Sorry!
Depression my old friend, I may have to pay you a visit. EFF MY LIFE!

Monday, September 24, 2012

Life Is An Experiment

Life. It's amazing how quickly it can change. My life has changed drastically this year and although at times its been hard, I am stronger now then I ever have been before. I was tested in ways that probably should've broken me. I feel that I can face anything the world can throw at me. I am enjoying life, and better yet, I'M LIVING IT. I am no longer held back and beaten down  by the "no you can't"s and "you suck at life"s (although I still kinda suck at life) This feeling is incredible! I can't believe how much life I've missed out on. I'm ready to live it to the fullest. I want to experience anything and everything I  can.   Life's short and I don't want to look back and be filled with regrets. I feel empowered and for the first time in my life I feel beautiful. I am confident in my self and I now know my self worth.
Don't know what I'm talking about? I got myself out of a horrible situation, and as hard as it was I've grown and learned from it. It felt like I'd hit rock bottom. But it was all in my attitude. A hard lesson to learn. The power of thought and a positive attitude are what helped in the end. It took a lot of energy to be depressed and dwell on the mistakes of the past. I wasn't me.  I decided I was tired of being that loathsome person and changed my attitude. The results are amazing! Life just keeps getting better. I got a promotion, I'm excited about school (although when I'm there you won't hear me say that) I look forward to achieving goals and making something of myself. 
Single and ready to mingle is the name of the game. OK well maybe not exactly that, but I'm ready to have fun, meet new people and be me. Live life like a normal 20-something year old. 
Bring it on world. I'm ready for whatever you throw at me.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn Is Just To Love And Be Loved In Return

I love you. The three most dangerous words a person can say. They get thrown around like its no big deal. So I have to question is it really love? Or lust? Or is it just infatuation? Movies these days depict love as this all consuming "I can't live without you" long lasting beautiful thing. Does such a thing exist? In this day and age its difficult to say. Its all about how quickly can we get married so we can do it. What happened to romance? What happened to taking your time to really get to know a person? I've made mistakes. I've thrown around those words. And now that I've grown, I realize that its not what I want. I hate the games that people play! I hate how easy a person can hurt someone, and not feel bad about it!
So what is love? Is it getting the butterflies at the very mention of someones name? Laying your head on their chest and being soothed by the beat of their heart. Looking in their eyes and knowing that you could stay there forever. Being in someones arms and knowing that its the right place for you to be? You should feel this everyday. Not just in the beginning. Thats what I want. Its what everyone deserves. Im done playing games. I know what I want and Im not going to settle for what I dont deserve.